We say many things...

(Photo by Jamie Locke)

So, tomorrow night here in Sydney I am performing a song at an event called 'Women Say Something' at the Sydney Town Hall, which proudly flies the rainbow flag for Pride.  There will be 16 panelists, myself and another performer at the event doing their 'thing'. An awesome list of panelists being interviewed, 500 guests eating dinner. It's the night before Sydney Pride and you know, an awesome event. 

I'm nervous. 

Here's the weird thing. I'm not so much nervous about performing....it's one song and I finally picked the one song (which was super hard to do) and I'm solid on the song. I'm nervous about other things. I'm nervous about what I am going to wear. Feeling uncomfortable in my body after a winter of laziness and I feel nervous about not wearing 'cool enough' clothes and I'm nervous about who we are sitting with at dinner and if I will have interesting things to say. 

It's my introvert coming out. 

The part of me that feels unsure and quiet and not into 'small' talk. Also the part of me that struggles with my inner critic...the voice that tells me off for not exercising or eating one too many Tim Tams (mmm....Tim tams) and then reminds myself that I am perfect just the way I am. Before I break into 'Red Dust Earth' I'm going to talk about 'our stories' and the importance of them in the world and how every part of our story has made us who we are today. 

This is part of my story, and how I stand in the world. The introverted, feeling chunky, wonderful part of me that gently soothes my own heart and whispers reminders into my ear about not judging myself for how I look. And the part of me that just wants to say 'fuck that shit' and just enjoy it all. 

Onward we go. Sometimes a little more quietly than other times. 

xxM